The Story of Us

Each Sunday my friends Danielle from “We Don’t Have It All Together, But Together We Have It All” and Danielle from “Happenings of the Harper Household” host a meme that presents a different question each week that will require you to think about how you feel about a certain topic and to decide where you stand regarding that topic, then of course share those thoughts!

They do have a few rules… or rather guidelines… the most important being:

Please respect each others opinions. This means no bashing of other bloggers in comments on their posts. Kind words and genuine questions are encouraged. If you strongly disagree with someone else the place to address your view point is in a post on your own blog. If we find that you have blatantly disregarded this you will be removed from the linky.

This week their topic is Cohabitation vs. Marriage.  I thought it would be a fun topic to join in on, especially since I realized I have never shared my husband and my “story.”  So here it goes….

Bryan and I met in in the fall of 2001.  I was in my final year of college at the University of Colorado and he was working at Castle Pines golf course with my best friend and her boyfriend.  My best friend decided that she was going to get us together.  Never mind the fact that I was “kinda dating” this other guy.   I put it in quotations because it was a weird, awkward, silly relationship that I really didn’t mind getting out of!

In November 2001 we went on our first date.  It was a double date with my friend (who set us up) and her boyfriend to see Monsters, Inc.  The next night my cousin was having a house party (yup, we were in college) and Bryan and I went to it together.

Gosh we were young!

The next day Bryan got us tickets to see the Denver Broncos which was my first Bronco’s game ever.  I also got my first (and only) minor in possession ticket, but that is another story….  From that point on we were pretty much inseparable.  He lived in Denver which was about 45 minutes from where I was going into college in Boulder but it seemed that one of us was always at the other’s place.

On November 13, 2001 that guy I was “kinda dating” gave me his parent’s tickets to go see the Denver Nuggets.  Guess he didn’t get the memo I was dating someone else.  As we were riding up the escalator to get to our seats Bryan asked me if it would be weird if this guys parents or someone else he knew were sitting next to us.  I told him it wouldn’t because the guy always just introduced me as a friend from school, never as his girlfriend.  Then Bryan asked me “Can I call you my girlfriend?”  We mark that moment as when we “officially” started dating.

On April 21, 2002 Bryan proposed to me.  I knew it was coming, because the spoiler he is told me it was.  But he wouldn’t tell me when.  We would be out to dinner and he would get down on one knee, then tie his shoe and get back up.  Such a tease!  That night I had a study group after school so I wasn’t sure that I would even be at his house.  Yes, even though we each had our own place, we were cohabitating.  The highway was having nighttime construction but I got out of the study group with enough time to beat it, so I headed to his place.  When I got there I headed downstairs to our room.  On each step was a lit candle and there were vases with roses on some.  When I got to the bottom there was a shoe box, backlit with candles, with the words “Marry Me” cut out of it.  Bryan came out of hiding, got down on one knee and said with a grin, “So….”  Of course I said yes!

In August 2002 I graduated from college and we moved to New Jersey for him to attend school at Rutgers.

August 2002

Spring 2003

We moved to La Quinta, California in April 2005.  He worked at a golf course that was part of the resort so they put us up at the resort for a month while we found a place to live.  I ended up getting a job in their accounting department.

August 2005

I graduated law school in May 2008 and got a job as a Deputy Prosecuting Attorney for Kittitas County so we moved to Central Washington.  We loved it there!  Now that we were both {hopefully}  done with school we started talking about starting a family.  However, it was important to me that we be married when we had kids.  Why?  I’m not really sure except that it would confirm our commitment to being a cohesive family unit and we would all have the same last name.

We discussed why we hadn’t gotten married all these years (we had been engaged over 6 years by then).  My husband said it was because he doesn’t like being the center of attention (which obviously he would be at our wedding) and he was committed to me, so it didn’t really matter to him.  We decided to have a “small” family wedding.

And so, we finally set a date!  Due to scheduling, we actually went on our honeymoon for a cruise to Alaska in May 2009.

May 2009

In June 2009, my little sister got married.  My husband jokes that he was really just waiting for her to get married first, lol.

June 2009

On September 6, 2009 Bryan and I got married in the courtyard at my mother-in-law’s law firm in front of about 75 of our closest friends and family.

September 2009

So, what do I think about cohabitation vs. marriage?  I think they are both great!  I think Danielle makes some great points about the importance of cohabitation before marriage to make sure you can live with a person.  I personally have no problem with people who cohabitate and never get married.  For me and my family, it worked great for a while, but in the end I couldn’t imagine NOT being married to Bryan.

So, what do you think?  Check out the other Debate posts over at Happenings of the Harper Household and We Don’t Have it All.